August 2, 2010

Forgiveness Is A Process! Forgiveness Part 2

How many times have we been told to just get over it? Let it Go? The truth is that if it was that easy people would not be in hospitals with illnesses that cannot be diagnosed because while they may have symptoms the symptoms do not add up to a real illness and the real illness, the thing that is killing us is unforgiveness.

The thing that is giving us the high blood pressure, the headaches and the indigestion is unforgiveness. The doctors can’t cure it only God can. It is a process and if we want to be healed, whole and set free we have to do it. The scripture makes it clear that we are expected to forgive others. Matthew 6:14-15, says, 14 -15"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. It is not a suggestion it is a requirement if we are to get the blessings God has for us.

Forgiveness is not easy and it is not simple. On our own we cannot do it but the bible is clear in Mark 9:23, the bible says, 23 “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” If you believe you can forgive the person that hurt you or the situation that occurred you can, but you have to believe it before you see it and trust God to bring it to manifestation. Here are a few steps that might help:

• Acknowledge the need to forgive by acknowledging there was an offense
• Pray for yourself and God’s leading to address the offense with yourself first
• Recognize that you can not truly forgive anyone on your own
• If possible go to the person and tell them what offended you and that your forgive them, this should be done by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
  1. Forgiveness starts as a choice-mind
  2. Allow God to work it in your heart
  3. Seek God for specifics on what to say, what to do and the timing

Determine if there is a root in your past that caused this situation to escalate. Maybe it was not what just happened or what was just said, maybe it is something from your past. Maybe when you were growing up you were always told you would never amount to anything so when your boss made a comment about your inability you overreacted not because what they said was so bad, but because of the memory it evoked.

1. Is there a root-if there is identify the root cause
2. Deal with it

Remember that forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is about you and your relationship with God. The scripture was clear when it said you don’t forgive others you will not be forgiven. You will block your own blessings.

Take the time to allow God to continue to search you and show you individuals and situations that still require your forgiveness. This is necessary to make sure that none of the blessings that God has for you are being blocked by the sin of unforgiveness. Are there any relationships that require reconciliation? If they do what are you willing to do to bring it about?

When I shared this lesson with our life group I asked them an additional question. I asked them to write down the names of individuals or situations that they knew they had not yet forgiven. Each one wrote down something. A name/situation came to my mind as well. Then I posed the question, “is any name or situation that you have written on your paper worth your missing out on any of the blessings God has for you?”

Think about it, in some cases they have already taken up real estate in your mind, heart and spirit, now we are going to miss blessings behind this nonsense. One of our participants said she began to cross names off her list immediately because she was not willing to miss out on anything because of old stuff. What about you, is what you are holding on to worth it? Is the pain you feel when you are in their presence worth it? Is the old grudge worth it? If it is not, write down the names and situations and start the process. It is not about them, it is about you.

Don’t let those people or situations keep you from anything else.

Scripture Reference-
Matthew 6:14-15:
 14 -15"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.