Our last session focused on identifying our most important relationship. For some it may have been difficult to identify whom that relationship really should be with and for others it may have been easy. Today we want to talk about the challenges that we experience in our relationships. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so.

I believe we all experience relationship challenges whether they be with our spouses, friends, family or co-workers. Relationship challenges affect every area of our lives. Some are little and some seem insurmountable. It seems like they come out of nowhere. One day everything is peaceful and calm and the next day it seems like your entire world is caving in, or again maybe that is just me.

This week I found myself hit in the chest by a relationship issue. Unsure what I was supposed to do, but knowing God was with me. In the midst of it knowing that He had my back and was leading me through my current situation, knowing that in spite of what it looked like He had my back. Knowing this was another opportunity for my growth. Maybe that is how we should see our relationship challenges as an opportunity for our growth.

Maybe our relationship challenges are an opportunity for us to get to know God and trust Him in a whole new way. Sensing God’s peace in the midst of your situation is the best place to be.

What kind of relationship challenges do we experience and with whom?

Why do relationship challenges exist in the first place?

These are the questions I have been asking myself. Why and what?

The truth is I only have relationship challenges with people that matter to me. If they don’t matter there really is no challenge. It is much easier to deal with the issues when you are not close to the people.

Some of the challenges I have seen are based on:

• Jealousy
• Misunderstandings
• Miscues in our communication
• Pride and over inflated egos
• Unmet expectations
• Our own insecurities
• Personality differences

At work some have determined that it is dog eat dog and so instead of working with each other we are constantly attempting to take somebody else’s place. Walking over the top of another person to get what we think they have. Culturally some people might call it crab mentality. If you ever put a bunch of crabs in a container they will climb on top of each other and pull each other back into the container so that no one gets ahead, instead of building a bridge that allows everyone to get out.

I am not sure where it came from but another huge issue in the work place is the inability to get along, the inability to identify ourselves as part of the puzzle instead of being the entire thing. Maybe you have seen it, the person that thinks they can do everybody’s job better and knows what everybody else should be doing. That would be the over inflated ego.

When that thing starts to take over a room the only thing you can do is move out of the way before it takes up all of the oxygen. No seriously in that case pray before you speak because a person in that state is not beyond attempting to take you out for speaking up.

Men and women competing in relationships for somebody else’s mate, believing you would be a better partner for them than the one they have. Not even being concerned that the person you are competing with is a friend or family member.

Talking but not hearing what the other person is saying causes relationship challenges.

Which relationships can you identify as being the most challenging? Usually they are the ones that mean the most to you. What are you trying to do to make the situation better? Have you talked to the person or just talked about the situation? Remember when you talk to anyone you should not do it in anger but always speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15, says    15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: When you have an issue with someone go to them not to everyone else. Sometimes it can be a little intimidating but at the end of the day it is what has to happen if you want to resolve the situation and restore the relationship.

We all have relationship challenges, how will we handle them?

• Avoiding them does not work.
• Talking about them to everyone else does not work.
• Writing people off does not work.

Ask Jesus what He would do? Ask yourself is this a relationship that I care about? How much you value something will determine what you will do to preserve it.

• Learn to value your relationships because they are important.
• Learn to seek God for the people you are in relationship with to make sure that you are handling them with care.
• Ask God what you can do to make things better then do it.
• Try to see that person or situation through the eyes of Jesus Christ. Is there something He wants you to learn from it or the person?

God is not pleased with our having issues with one another. He is a relational God and our relationships are important to Him. They are so important that it is more important to Him that you get it right with your fellow man than bring your gift to Him.

Matthew 5:23-24, says  "This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

Scripture Reference:

Ephesians 4:15:

   15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

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